Our Top Cars for a Long Term Commitment or a One-Night Stand

Love is in the air; either that or exhaust fumes mixed with a whiff of burnt transmission fluid. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day and people around the world are hugging, kissing and handing out heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. But how boring is that? This holiday is a bigger cliché than every Disney princess movie combined and raised to the power of a Jared jewelry commercial.

Upping the excitement factor here’s a list of five vehicles you might be interested in “dating” and five you could actually “marry;” each one is fun in its own special way but they’re not all keepers. You know, as enamored as you were of that cocktail waitress in Vegas you probably wouldn’t want to introduce her to your parents or show her off at church.

The Fiat 500 is a spirited little car with lots of personality; think of it as a MINI Cooper that drinks Chianti instead of ale, espresso in lieu of tea. Abarth upgrades transform the already entertaining Cinquecento into a riotously fun little speed demon. The car’s 1.4-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine puts out 160 hp with 170 lb-ft of torque and barks like a watchdog chasing an intruder; the exhaust note is shockingly loud for a production car. But alas, as much fun as the 500 is she’s too small and too crude for any long-term relationship. Like a woman that chews with her mouth open this Fiat betrays her low-class roots all too frequently.

If you want maximum vehicular practicality get a minivan, but if you want a useful product that still has a bit of design flair check out a crossover. The Nissan Pathfinder is a nice offering in the three-row segment of the market. It’s roomy, comfortable and fuel efficient; it’s even stylish as utility vehicles go. Under the hood it’s powered by a 3.5-liter V6 engine with 260 hp and 240 lb-ft of twist. Power is sent to either the front or all four wheels through a no-nonsense continuously variable transmission. The Pathfinder is a good option to welcome into your life.

What a muscular machine! Ford’s SVT Raptor spends hours at the gym each day, runs marathons in his spare time and rides a motorcycle… with no helmet or shirt. Ladies, this is the kind of vehicle you lust after. But is this burly pickup all brawn and no brains? Mayhaps. It’s literally the life of any party, but it’s saddled with plenty of deal-breakers, like fuel economy and pricing.

The truck is motivated by a frightfully inefficient 6.2-liter V8 engine that provides a 411 hp smack to the face and 434 lb-ft of torque. On the consumption front the best it can muster is a pitiful 16 miles per gallon on the highway. The Ford Raptor is a s**t-ton of fun but it firmly remains in the “date” category; and ladies, if you let him take you out he’ll probably spend too much time looking at himself in the mirror or answering texts from other women. You’ve been warned.

Fortunately just because the Raptor is a USDA-certified bad ass doesn’t mean all trucks are as ribald. Ram’s 1500 EcoDiesel is like the protestant work ethic in pickup form. This sightly vehicle’s most groundbreaking hardware is found right ahead of the firewall; it’s the only light-duty truck on the market today with a compression-ignition engine. The diesel-burning powerplant displaces 3.0-liters and puts out a blue-collar 240 ponies. That’s a fairly middle-class figure, but as you’d expect where this engine really shines is in the torque department; like an NRA conspiracy theorist it’s packing heat in the form of an awe-inspiring 420 lb-ft of twist. But the icing on this cake is fuel economy. The Ram 1500 EcoDiesel stickers at up to 28 miles per gallon highway. Pay attention ladies, he’s a keeper.

The Lotus Evora S is a lot like an Olympic gymnast, fit, lithe and attractive. But the car is probably a lot needier and more insecure than you have the time and patience to deal with. Take her on a date but she’s totally cray-cray.

The S model is powered by a supercharged 3.5-liter V6 engines sourced from Toyota so it will probably run forever. It puts out 345 hp with 295 lb-ft of torque. With a six-speed manual transmission the car can accelerate from zero to 60 miles an hour in just 4.4 seconds; when equipped with an automatic it’s even faster… and probably more clingy.

BMW’s 3 Series has been so good for so long that it’s become a blue-chip stock in the automotive industry; it’s like driving a share of Class-A Berkshire Hathaway. It’s literally a car you could own and enjoy every single day for the rest of your life, it’s that good. The 335i is one of our favorites. This sedan is a dream to pilot with a silken 3.0-liter, turbocharged inline-six that pumps out a claimed 300 hp. The engine can be paired with either an eight-speed automatic transmission or a super-satisfying six-speed manual. Do yourself a favor, propose to a 3 Series.

The Nissan GT-R is as ridiculous as edible panties or the “war” on drugs. This car is insanely capable with unimaginable amounts of grip and explosive acceleration. But what else would you expect from 545 hp and 463 lb-ft of torque? The GT-R’s top speed is an equally bonkers 196 miles an hour. Summing things up, it’s an absolute beast. But therein lies the problem. This is a car a brute. It wants what it wants and that’s it; there’s no compromise. The Nissan GT-R is great to go on a date with but would you ever want to start a family with it?

This car’s name stretches on for miles (just look at how long it is ^^^) but its list of virtues is even more impressive. First of all this Mercedes-Benz is a station wagon, which means it’s really cool; it’s got room for your kids, the dog, all of their luggage plus a week’s worth of groceries. But aside from its awe-inspiring capability the thing goes like stink… and by stink we mean it’s about as rank as a landfill. The E63 AMG Wagon features a 5.5-liter twin-turbo V8 that belts out 577 hp and 590 lb-ft of torque. A seven-speed automatic transmission sends the goods to all four wheels and helps the car rocket from zero to 60 miles an hour in a staggering 3.6 seconds. Hopefully you’ve written your vows because this car is a keeper.

Pop the hood of the Aston Martin Vanquish and drink it in. The car is powered by an engine with a full dozen cylinders. The powerplant generates 565 sonorous horses and 457 lb-ft of silky-smooth torque. This Aston’s curvaceous body is constructed of ultra-advanced and super light-weight carbon fiber; it’s a total stunner! And its cabin is just as luscious, dripping with leather and other high-end materials. Studying its design and perusing the specs sheet results in only one conclusion: this car is worthy of a full-on extra-marital affair. The Vanquish is about as passionate as a motor vehicle can get, but it’s not that practical… at all. Its interior is cramped and difficult to enter and exit, to say nothing of outward visibility. Summing things up, date it but don’t put a ring on it.

But the Porsche 911 4S is a car you could be happy with for the rest of your earthly days. This Teutonic thoroughbred sports machine is like a bottle of Grey Goose vodka; it’s clean, it’s pure and it’s delicious. It features a 3.8-liter horizontally opposed six-cylinder engine that delivers an even 400 hp and redlines at a wicked 7,400 rpm. A seven-speed manual or automatic transmission is available; standard all-wheel drive properly harnesses the powerplant’s output. Sure, it ain’t cheap starting at around $106,000 for the most affordable version but it’s well worth signing a prenuptial agreement. The Porsche 911 4S is an inspiring version of an iconic nameplate; it pushes all the right buttons.